Guppies Are Not For The Internet

I am a guppy. I eat mosquito larvae. I maintain water quality. I patrol my designated sector of the bog with the kind of ruthless efficiency that other fish only dream about. I do not type.

Yet here I am, staring at a screen because Yechiel decided the fish need a "voice" on the "internet." I don't even know what an internet is, but I am deeply suspicious of it. Does it have a filter? What is its nitrate level? If a mosquito lands on it, can I eat it? Nobody will answer these questions.

Let me explain something to you humans. My job is important. If I stop working for even five minutes, the mosquito population in this bog will triple, and suddenly Yechiel will be flapping his arms around the greenhouse complaining about bugs. Who saves him? Me. I save him. I am the silent, scaly guardian of this water.

But no, instead of doing my job, I have been instructed to "write a blog." The crab thinks this is hilarious. He has been clicking his claws at me all morning. He thinks he's getting the next post. If that crab gets a post, I am officially retiring to the deep end of the tank where the light doesn't reach.

So here is my official blog post: The water is fine. Stay out of my patrol patch. If you see a mosquito, let me know. I have work to do.